By Kelly Brown, RN, Director of Nursing

My first two babies were model breastfeeders.

They latched from the very start with strong, rhythmic sucks and barely a learning curve. I remember holding my firstborn in the hospital, stunned — “Wow,” I thought, “I don’t know what I’m doing, but somehow he does.” Fast forward to my third baby, and the feeding journey I thought I had mastered turned completely on its head.

My daughter arrived three weeks early, at 36 weeks and 6 days, just a hair shy of full term. And unlike her siblings, she wasn’t the slightest bit interested in nursing. My care team, appropriately concerned about her blood glucose levels and weight stability, recommended donor milk and bottles while we were still in the hospital.

As Abigail Miles, RN, IBCLC and founder of MyLatchLine, explains:

“It’s incredibly common for late preterm babies to have difficulty latching or showing early feeding cues. Their bodies are still catching up, and that gentle delay in readiness doesn’t mean anything is ‘wrong’—it just means they may need more support.”

What followed were some of the hardest weeks of my postpartum experience: triple feeding, a cycle of nursing (or attempting to), pumping, and then bottle feeding — every few hours, around the clock. It was physically and emotionally draining. Despite my background as a nurse and years of experience supporting other parents, I still felt overwhelmed and unprepared.

As Abigail reminds her clients:

“Triple feeding can be a vital bridge for families, but it’s also one of the most exhausting plans to follow. I always remind parents: this is a temporary tool, not a test of endurance. The goal is to support baby’s feeding while protecting the parent’s well-being.”

Today, she’s almost six months old. She still prefers bottles, and I now exclusively pump and supplement with formula. And guess what? It’s still okay.

Let’s Retire the “One Right Way” Myth

Feeding isn’t a moral test — it’s a personal journey, shaped by birth circumstances, infant development, parental health, and sometimes sheer survival mode.

“Struggling with latch doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It means you and your baby are learning together. With the right support, most challenges can be worked through, and there’s no shame in needing help.”
— Abigail Miles, RN, IBCLC

Many babies struggle with latching — especially if they were born early, experienced birth trauma, have oral restrictions, or were separated from their parents after delivery (Johns Hopkins Medicine, 2024). None of this signals failure — it simply signals a need for support.

A large NIH study found that more than 44% of mothers report latch difficulties, often accompanied by low milk supply concerns or pain (Odom et al., 2013). These challenges are common, valid, and surmountable.

When Feeding Feels Hard & Why That’s Common

Tongue or Lip Ties
 These oral restrictions can interfere with milk transfer, often leading to shallow latches and nipple trauma. An evaluation by a pediatric provider or IBCLC trained in oral anatomy is recommended (Odom et al., 2013).

Late Preterm Birth (34–37 weeks)
 Though technically “term,” these babies may lack the stamina of full-term newborns. They’re more prone to fatigue, glucose instability, and difficulty sustaining a latch (Johns Hopkins Medicine, 2024).

Inverted or Flat Nipples
 These don’t prevent breastfeeding, but may require extra strategies — like nipple shields or reverse pressure softening — to support an effective latch (WIC, 2024).

Triple Feeding
 This temporary feeding method includes:

  1. Attempting to nurse

  2. Pumping afterward

  3. Feeding expressed milk via bottle

It’s often used when baby isn’t transferring enough milk yet. While effective, it’s physically and emotionally draining — and not intended as a long-term solution (Medela, 2024).


Pumping Is Real Feeding — And Deserves Real Strategy

Pumping — whether exclusive, part-time, or transitional — is not a second-tier option. It’s a valid and loving way to feed your baby.

“Pumping is breastfeeding. Whether it’s exclusive, part-time, or the result of a tough start — your milk matters, and so does your effort. It’s not second-best. It’s feeding with intention and love.”
 — Abigail Miles, RN, IBCLC

Here are practical tips, adapted from Medela and Spectra:

Flange Fit Matters
 Use the correct size to avoid pain and protect milk supply.

Stimulate Let-Down
 Try warm compresses, gentle breast massage, or baby photos/videos.

Use Hands-On Pumping
 Massage your breasts while pumping to increase output.

Mimic Baby’s Rhythm
 Pump 6–8 times in 24 hours during the newborn period.

Get Comfortable
 Hydrate, use a supportive chair, and take pressure off yourself.

Avoid Comparison
Milk supply fluctuates — and that’s completely normal.

What Does a Good Latch Look Like?

According to WIC and the NHS, signs of an effective latch include:

  • Baby’s mouth is wide open with lips flanged outward

  • Chin touches the breast, nose is free

  • Rhythmic suck–swallow–breathe pattern

  • Feeds feel like gentle tugging (not sharp pain)

  • Baby finishes the feed relaxed and satisfied

If any of these are missing or if you're feeling discomfort, reach out. Lactation support can change everything.

Final Encouragement

Feeding your baby is not a test of your commitment; it’s a relationship. It’s nourishment and nurture, no matter the method.

“There’s no gold medal for breastfeeding one way or another. My job isn’t to push a specific path — it’s to support you in feeding your baby in the way that fits your family, your health, and your goals.”
 — Abigail Miles, RN, IBCLC

Whether you're nursing, pumping, combo feeding, or using formula, you are doing it right. You're showing up. You're making it work. And you're doing a beautiful job. Let’s end the stigma and expand the definition of feeding success. The only “right” way to feed your baby… is the way that supports both of you.

More Resources on Feeding from Harbor


References