Adding a new baby to your family is a massive shake-up. You’re not only adjusting to new feeding schedules, diaper changes, and sleep loss but also need to support any older kids in adjusting to the new norm. Getting them on board and excited early can prevent them from seeing their new sibling as a rival. Here’s a game plan for making this a true team effort…
Breaking the news
Start getting your kid ready for the new addition during your second trimester. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends easing into the conversation, making sure their little minds have time to process the news. For younger kiddos, using books, cartoons, or even toy dolls can help them understand what’s happening.
If and when pregnancy has you feeling sluggish, it’s okay to let your little one know why you’re moving slowly—just be sure to clarify that it’s not the baby’s fault. Try to say “our baby” instead of “my baby” to remind them that it’s a family effort. Once there’s a bump to point to, it will become more real for the younger crowd.
Know that kids will process things differently based on age. Toddlers may just give you a blank stare while preschoolers might oscillate between thrilled to wary. Give them some time to sit with the news—a little back-and-forth is totally normal!
Training Camp: Prepping the big sibling
Set realistic expectations
Prepare them for newborn quirks like non-stop crying, constant feeding, and a lack of play skills. Remind them that while the baby’s around-the-clock needs may shake things up, they’ll still have their special role in the family.
Avoid big changes close to baby’s arrival
Delay major milestones, like moving to a big-kid bed or tackling potty training, during the last trimester. Introducing big changes too close to baby’s arrival can contribute to negative associations (“I had to switch beds because of the new baby”).
Stick with routines
Routines are essential to a thriving family. Sticking to your regular mealtimes, playtimes, and bedtime rituals offers stability as they prepare to share the spotlight.
At the same time, if your little one isn’t a great sleeper or makes an excessive mess at mealtimes, now’s the time to drill a routine! Do what you can to nurture good habits before baby’s arrival.
Let them in on the action
Picking out a baby toy or blanket, or even voting on a nursery color, gives them a real stake in the game. They’re no longer a bystander to the new baby—they’re part of the planning committee!
The First Encounter: Introducing the new sibling
Choose a neutral setting
Introduce the new baby in a neutral setting, like the living room or hospital room. Let baby lie on a blanket instead of being held in your arms. This will free you up to scoop up your older child for a reassuring hug!
Set expectations with simple phrases
For example, “our baby will be tiny and sleep a lot” or “our baby might cry, and that’s okay.” Knowing what to expect helps your little one meet their sibling with confidence.
Show them safe ways to interact
Demonstrate gentle touches, kisses on baby’s feet, or maybe even holding baby with some grown-up support. And, of course, offer a refresher on the wonders of hand-washing!
Consider a “gift exchange”
A sibling gift exchange can spark excitement. A card from the big sibling to the baby and a small gift from baby to their new big sibling can help to cement their bond.
Helping siblings cope with the new addition
It's natural for an older sibling to feel a mix of emotions and maybe even show a little regression when a new baby arrives. After all, this new addition demands a lot of attention! To help fend off jealousy, remind them of the unique perks that only big kids get to enjoy, like running around outside, choosing special treats, and having one-on-one time with you.
Make it a priority to create special moments just for them, whether it’s reading together, playing a game, or simply hanging out. These small gestures reassure them that they’re still important to you, baby or not.
Celebrate big sibling status
With your big kid as an eager sidekick, it’s time to dive into this new adventure together. Through it all, remember that Harbor is here to help everyone settle into a new rhythm. Here’s to teamwork, togetherness, and all the heartwarming moments that make your family bond even stronger!
